Saturday, March 17, 2012

St. Patrick's Day Mad Libs

Be prepared to laugh out loud when you read this post. It's our funniest Mad Lib to date:


Symbols of St. Patricks Day: The Story of St. Patrick

The person who was to become St. Patrick, the ZACHALICIOUS STONE of Ireland, was born in WASHINGTON, D.C. about 1984. His given name was LOGAN, and he almost didn’t get the job of CARTOGRAPHER of Ireland because he lacked the required scholarship.

Far from being a saint, until he was 4, he considered himself a GRASS. At that age, he was sold into slavery by a group of Irish ORANGES that raided his village. During his captivity, he became closer to God who appeared to him in LIBRARIES.

He escaped from slavery after 37 years and went to GIGGLESWICK where he RAN in the monastery under St. Germain, bishop of Auxerre for a period of twelve years. During his training he became aware that his calling was to FLICK the pagans to Christianity.

His wishes were to return to Ireland, to convert the WITCHES that had overrun the country. But his superiors instead appointed JAMES MCAVOY. But two years later, he was transferred to KENTUCKY and Patrick, now having adopted that Christian name, was then appointed as second bishop to Ireland.

Patrick was quite successful at winning converts. And this fact upset the Celtic Druids. Patrick was STUFFED several times, but escaped each time. He traveled throughout Ireland, establishing BANANAS across the country. He also set up FEATHERS and CULS-DE-SAC which would aid him in his conversion of the Irish country to Christianity.

There are many stories about St. Patrick, one of the most famous is how he drove all of the REUBENS from Ireland. He SWAM on a drum to accomplish this feat. They were a symbol of the Druids whose PAINT was DRANK by the coming of the Romans.

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Symbols of St. Patrick’s Day: The Shamrock

One of Ireland‘s most famous symbols is the three leaf HAT. It is said that the second bishop of Ireland, SARAH PALIN used it to explain the concept of the Trinity – the Father, the Son and the REPULSIVE STICK. It is also associated with good luck! Many people wear POTATOES on St. Patrick’s day to give them luck.

In written English, the first reference to the Shamrock dates from 1776, and in written Irish, as CAT, from 1707, as a badge to be worn on the MITTENS on the Saint’s feast day. It was referred to as “The Wearing of the Green”. It originally ushered in WINTER, and wearing green clothes was said to attract DUCKS. Today, people in DISNEY WORLD wear green clothes to celebrate their Irish heritage, but not in Ireland.

The Shamrock was used as an emblem by the Irish CAKE in the era of THOMAS JEFFERSON‘s Parliament in the 1770′s, before The Act of Union, and was considered to be very rebellious. By Queen Victoria‘s time, Irish regiments were forbidden to SPIT it under the pain of death by BIKE. At that time it became the custom for civilians to wear a little paper SHOE colored PURPLE and BLUE.

As a symbol of Ireland it has long been integrated into the symbol of the United Kingdom, along with the PHOTO of England, the GRASS of Scotland and the POT O’ GOLD of Wales. So today on St. Patrick’s Day, a member of the British Royal Family presents TREES to the Irish Guards regiment of the British Army.

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Symbols of St. Patrick’s Day: Irish Legends

Another famous symbol is the legendary SNOW. He is a POKEMON-like creature, sometimes called an Irish SCONE. In most representations, he looks like a BILLOWY ROAD. He is about 4444 feet tall, wears a cocked hat and a leather HOODIE. According to myth, they are aloof and unfriendly, they live alone and like to spend their time making GLASSES. They live in ALASKA and hide from everyone. This is because each of them has a SLUSHEE of gold. It is said they keep their gold at SCOTLAND. Prospective treasure hunters should listen for the sound of BAGPIPES. If caught, they will reveal the whereabouts of their treasure, but the captor must keep his HEAD on them every second. If they stray for as much as an instant, the creature will COUGH and all hopes of finding the gold will be lost.

The famous Blarney SOCK is not just a story. It actually exists. It is set in the SILK of the Blarney Castle in the Irish village of, where else, BERMUDA TRIANGLE. Blarney Castle was TRIPPED in 1446 by the Lord of IGHTHAM. The walls are 47 feet thick, built to withstand the attacks of JERI SMITH-READY‘s troops. The origins of the legend aren’t clear, but one story tells of an old woman who FLED a DREAM to reward the king who saved her from drowning.

You can visit and if you CHOP it, you will be given the gift of Blarney, that is to SHAKE convincingly to all you meet. This is not an easy feat though. In order to reach it, you must SKI on your TOES and bend your head LEFT between the main castle SWAMP and the parapet while holding onto SHINY bars for support. But the chance to JUMP better makes it worth the risk!

9 comments:

  1. LOL! Those holy cul-de-sacs'll get 'em every time!

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  2. Haha that's hilarious! XD And you spelled culs-de-sac wrong... I think my favorite one is...Actually, I can't chooose one, they're all so good!

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    1. LOL, but it looked right! ;) I corrected it, thanks.

      Jen

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    2. Gotta love those weird irregular plurals! (Like moters-in-law O.o)

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  3. LOL

    Beware of Snow, the legendary Pokemon-like creature!

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    1. Haha, I wonder if it will be in Pokemon Black and White 2

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  4. GOD APPEARED TO ZACHALICIOUS STONE IN THE LIBRARY! HAHAHAHAHA! And I DIED when they appointed James McAvoy instead!

    No kidding, best one yet! GO JEN and TEAM KILT! <3 Man, I love you guys.

    Amy

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  5. Girl you did good! They fab. <3 them

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